69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Randomize
