but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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