so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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