I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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