some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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