are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
