I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
