so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
