I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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