i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Randomize
