i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
