This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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