are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
