so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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