what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
