you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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