I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
