brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
