I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
