Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
should my penis look like a turkey
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize