I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
