hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
