Sry I called you an 8
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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