Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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