she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
