your room smells of hookers.
And success
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need to align my fucking chakras
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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