Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
