we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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