Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
