I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
