well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
