I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
