I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
