he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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