at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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