R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
