people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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