Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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