I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
