I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
