I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
