sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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