btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My cat gives me a boner
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
