Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
