you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
