oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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