Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
