where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
