another moral hangover. fuck.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
