i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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