You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
