If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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