Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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