I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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