just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
