I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
