Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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