I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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