I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize